I used to fall asleep imagining that I was kissing you
I would lay on my stomach under the covers
and pretend like I knew the secret
that was kissing.

I had seen it so many times
the softness of lips meeting from people in love;
It would feel like raising a flower to your face to smell the nectar
and accidentally having the petals tickle your mouth
I had seen it so many times
the awkward placement of hands that didn't even seem to matter in relation to the placement of lips that had to fit just right together
I had seen it so many times
the guilty look of having experienced something fantastic;
the glow of a kiss

I fell asleep imagining the way you smelled as I got closer to you
why hadn't I ever noticed you wore cologne?
I fell asleep imagining your lips meeting mine
they were soft, right?
I fell asleep imagining the way your callused fingertips would feel against my cheek
what were they callused from? guitar, right?
I fell asleep imagining the web of my fingers running through your hair, getting stuck in your curls
they were also soft, right?
I imagined your soft lips leaving mine only seconds later, taking your fingertips and hair and smell with you
I was in love, right?

only now I fall asleep to the steady hum of the television
the soft glow of nothing on the screen illuminating a small spot in my bedroom
I fall asleep with sweaty legs because I can't just kick off the covers